Thursday, October 8, 2009

Dee's 35th Birthday List of High School Crushes Comedy explosion

I was on facebook this morning and I received alot of love for my birthday. So much so that I thought it would be funny if I repaid everyone with a little comedy. (My Strong Suit) So I said I would make a list of all my High School crushes. So here it is.
Dwayne's Top Highschool Crushes. In chronological order. From what I can remember. Also excluding those who I shared" special time" with
Lisette- 8th grade- Dont remeber her last name. Everybody liked her I figured I should follow suit, and she had Jordans. (I couldn't afford them)
Lisa Jones 8th grade- It was the headbands son!!!!
Valerie Lamistry- 9th grade..She actually gave me a little play (little) She was built like a 27 year women back then.
Keisha Flowers- Valentines day card-- 2 dollars Valentines Candy--- 3 dollars. Getting dissed in front of all your friends. Priceless. LOL LOL
Martha--- The one who tried to put the hit out on the baby and went to jail and everything. Thank God that did't pan out.
Seika Harris. --- I remember that one!!!!! Yep lol. Heyyyyy Seika!
Adrien Turner--- She had that mushroom thing going. It did something for me. Rmember the precious moment we shared when you let me listen to your Slick Rick Tape? probably not. lol
Lisa Jefrey--I cant remember why...But I did.
Oh man I almost forgot the Lahoma Jackson years lol lol
Cassandra Mckay--- Dimples never gave me that note. I saw her in a bar and she told me whole story. She lied to you and told you she gave me that note. I swear I found out about that 4 or 5 ago. I think you guys had an "altercation" over it. At least thats what she told me. Any who
Vanessa Now Altamarano----Sorry Jeorge
Dana Lopez--You on there too
The girl who used to go with Mauricio forgot her name. Sorry Mauricio.
50% of all the Puerto Rican Girls we went to school with
And half the girls basketbal team. I thought getting backed down in the paint was sexy. And thats it.
Wow looking back over 35 years of life I have had some wonderfull experiences. I have been with samegirl for almost 7 years and I hope she finds this list as funny as I do. Thank You and Goodnite
http://globaltravelpays.com/djackson1/

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Grown Man TV

Im Broadcasting live from my second bedroom on Grown Man TV www.ustream.tv/channel/grown-man-tv

Grown Man TV

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Why did I move to Atlanta again?

I'm sitting here surrounded by the remains of what used to be one of the illest cities in the country, asking myself. Why the HELL did I move here again? Oh that's right it was for the girls. But I'm in a 6 year relationship, so I can't use all of the fly ladies of ATL as an excuse to stay here anymore. Damn!!! Oh that's right I came for the job opportunities.  We'll shit, the job market looks like Chris Brown caught it looking at Jay Z again. Eyes front job market!!!! Well at least I got plenty of friends here, who are gonna miss me if I'm gone.....(2 minutes later) Well I called my friends and they told me they found someone else to be the lovable SKETCHWORKS COON, and they won't be talking to me anymore.  But Super Mammys and black crayons aside. ( I still cant believe I did that shit.) Why am I here again? Oh because it's the ATL. The black mecca. The birthplace of crunk music, and the first place I saw more than 5 black college students not playing Spades.  I can't leave now, I've been here 10 years and it's given me so much.  I started my acting & stand up careers here.  I was arrested and taken to jail here.  I've become used to being treated like I'm about to be evicted, even when my rent is on time here.   This is the land of Milk and Honey, and I'm gonna ride this shit out.  But I will tell what will get me outta here real fast.  Shawty from the Deck is unemployed.... That's a major problem. If Obama don't get Shawty from the Deck a job its a rap for this place.  For those of you who don't know who Shawty from the Deck is, let me introduce him to you..... He's the dude with 36 gold teeth, who drives a 88 Chevy Caprice Classic and pronounces Christmas without the S and the T........ IE: Merry CHRI-MAS.  For those of you who still don't know who Shawty from the Deck is, you will get to meet him soon. Cause if economic conditions don't turn around, and you live in Atlanta he will be in your living room at about 2 in the morning. The introduction will go a little something like this.  

Homeowner:  Hey... who the hell are you....and what are you doing in my living room!!!!????

Shawty from Deck: (waving a pistol wildly)  Shut De Fuc Up and git on D flor.  I'm Shawty from the Deck Bitch.  Now Where d money folk?

In conclusion the ATL was and is a cool place for black folks, but it's changed.  Hell I've changed. And maybe it's time for a new place but for now I'm here.  And so is Shawty from the Deck, so watch yo ass.